Friday, July 5, 2013

Who Wears a Tiara on a Jungle Gym?


I just finished reading Lean In and it had so much good information that I was highlighting things like a student in college!  It was insightful, offered good advice and I recommend that everyone read it.  The is (updated and improved) The Feminine Mystique of my generation.  Women need to support women!  Men need to support women!
at a certain point it's your ability to learn quickly and contribute quickly that matters.  One of the things I tell people these days is that there is no perfect fit when you're looking for the next big thing to do.  You have to take opportunities and make an opportunity fit you, rather than the other way around.  The ability to learn is the most important quality a leader can have.
I have advised many women to preface negotiations by explaining that they know that women often get paid less than men so they are going to negotiate rather than accept the original offer.  By doing so, women position themselves as connected to a group and not just out for themselves; in effect, they are negotiating for all women. And as silly as it sounds, pronouns matter.  Whenever possible, women should substitute "we" for "I."

Women, however, have to justify their requests.  One way of doing this is to suggest that someone more senior encouraged the negotiation... or to site industry standards.

Men are allowed to be focused on their own achievements, while loyaly is expected from women... This is why a woman needs to combine niceness with insistence, a style that Mary Sue Coleman, president of the University of Michigan, calls "relentlessly pleasant."

"So I thought about calling you and telling you all the things I'm good at and all the things I like to do.  Then I figured that everyone was doing that.  So instead, I want to ask you: What is your biggest problem, and how can I solve it?"

...ladders are limiting- people can just move up or down, on or off.  Jungle gyms offer more creative exploration.  There's only one way to get to the top of a ladder, but there are many ways to get to the top of the jungle gym.

We all want a job or role that truly excites and engages us.  This search requires both focus and flexibility, so I recommend adopting two concurrent goals: a long-term dream and an eighteen-month plan.

When companies grow quickly, there are more things to do that there are people to do them.  When companies grow more slowly or stop growing, there is less to do and too many people to not be doing them.  Politics and stagnation set in, and everyone falters.

...reduce their career spreadsheets to one column: potential for growth
But in business, being risk adverse can result in stagnation.
An internal report at Hewlett-Packard revealed that women only apply for open jobs if they think they meet 100 percent of the criteria listed.  Men apply if they think they meet 60 percent of the requirements... Women need to shift from thinking "I'm not ready to do that" to thinking "I want to do that - and I'll learn by doing it."

Do not wait for power to be offered.  Like that tiara, it might never materialize.  And anyway, who wears a tiara on a jungle gym?

I don't know of one woman in a leadership position whose life partner is not fully- and I mean fully- supportive of her career.  No exceptions.

When fathers provide even just routine child care, children have higher levels of educational and economic achievement and lower delinquency rates.  Their children even tend to be more empathetic and socially competent.

When people talk about a female pilot, a female engineer, or a female race care driver, the word "female" implies a bit of surprise.  Men in the professional world are rarely seen through this same gender lens.  A Google search for "Facebook's male CEO" returns this message: "No results found."

They can start by actively seeking out qualified female candidates to hire and promote.  And if qualified candidates cannot be found, then we need to invest more recruiting, mentoring, and sponsoring so women can get the necessary experience.
Read this review.  I couldn't have said it better!!